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F.A.Q.
Since Allah asked me to make this website back in March 2006 I've been asked many questions by Infidels and Muslims alike! Sometimes I get asked the same question several times over, so I thought it would be a good idea to list some of these questions (together with my insightfully divine answers) all on one page. The benefit to mankind will be immeasurable!
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Q. Can I ever be as clever as you?
A. No.
Q. If I contact you will my email address and name remain confidential?
A. They will never be disclosed.
Q. Why don't you make a similar website about Christians too?
A. I will...just as soon as they start flying planeloads of innocent men, women and children into buildings.
Q. Why do Muslims call their god Allah?
A. To differentiate him from other more peaceful gods.
Q. What's it like in Heaven?
A. Full of Muslims...much more fun in Hell ;o)
Q. I will kill you. Where do you live, you b*stard?
A. Hopefully not next door to you.
Q. I am a Muslim but I now want to leave Islam. Can you help me?
A. Join the queue!!! First of all you need to choose a suitable make of body armour. Then, go to my apostasy page where you can find many links which will help you leave the teachings of the dark side with your head still attached to your shoulders.
Q. What's your favourite Radio Show?
A. Jon Gaunt 'Gaunty' on talkSPORT. He's one of the very few presenters in the U.K. that actually talks common sense about issues including Islamic terrorism!
Q. Are you REALLY Allah's favourite prophet?
A. Yes I am. He tells me so every day in the sauna.
Q. Why do Muslim men want woman to cover up?
A. Because many Muslim men cannot control their sexual urges.
Q. Does Surah 4.34 really tell Muslim men they can beat their wives?
A. Yes.
Q. Why are Muslims always so angry?
A. Because Infidels refuse to submit to the will of Allah!.
Q. Why do Muslims call Islam the 'religion of peace'?
A. Wishful thinking.
Q. Why do you hate Muslims?
A. I don't.
Q. Why do Muslims hate Jews?
A. If you are told something every day of your life then you will soon believe it.
Q. Did you really marry a 9 year old girl?
A. Hey, now that's not fair....I thought she was 10!!!
Q. Why do millions of Muslims choose to live in Christian countries.
A. I'm sure it's nothing to do with the generous benefits systems they have in place.
Q. How come 57 Muslim countries plus the power of Allah can't defeat tiny Israel?
A. As Muslims say...'It is the will of Allah' :o)
Q. Will you still be laughing on the day of judgement when you are burning in HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A. Tricky question.
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