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What the Seventy Two virgins actually said
Hare are a few of my favourites...The full list can be seen at the newyorker.com.
Virgin No. 6: Hi, I’m Becky. I’ll be legal in two years.
Virgin No. 7: Here, I’ll just pull down your zipper. Oh, sorry!
Virgin No. 9: It was a garlic-and-onion pizza. Why?
Virgin No. 12: Hurry! My parents are due home!
Virgin No. 14: I’m eighty-four. So what?
Virgin No. 16: Even I know that’s tiny.
Virgin No. 18: I’m saving myself for Jesus.
Virgin No. 23: Are you O.K. with the dog on the bed?
Virgin No. 28: It’s so romantic here, dead.
Virgin No. 31: Hi, cowboy. I just rode down from Brokeback Mountain.
Virgin No. 37: No kissing. I save that for my boyfriend.
Virgin No. 40: I’m Jewish. Why do you ask?
Virgin No. 43: In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m a single mom.
Virgin No. 45: When you’re done, you should really check out how cool this ceiling is.
Virgin No. 51: What do you mean, “move a little”?
Virgin No. 55: That was terrible. I should have listened to the other virgins.
Virgin No. 58: Those are my testicles.
Virgin No. 62: Was that it?
Virgin No. 64: Tonight, I become a woman. But until then you can call me Bob.
Virgin No. 65: They’re called “adult diapers.” Why?
Virgin No. 69: Condom, please.
Virgin No. 72: It was paradise, until you showed up.
Those virgins sure do get a raw deal...
Mo (PBUM)
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